Mirror AKA Getting To Know Myself…

I have been hosting my blog for a little over a year now and I am thankful for every single one of my followers.  To commemorate reaching my 110th follower, I wanted to do something special that I should have done from the beginning; introduce myself.  Hi, my name is Katonya Raven. Hayes.  I am pleased to meet you and I hope that you will continue to follow this blog for many years to come. My gift to the blogosphere is an in-depth look into my personal life.  Enjoy and feel free to ask any questions that don’t appear in the blog.

1. How did you get your name?

Well, my mom stole my name from her coworker.  Lol. Apparently, my mother’s coworker had a daughter named Katonya and she liked the name so much, she decided I should have it too. I got my middle name from my dad.  He said that I was a beautiful black bird, so he gave me Raven.  I don’t think ‘beauty’ when I think of ravens, more like the creepy bird from the Edgar Allen Poe poem, but…I know he meant well.

2. How many siblings do you have?

I have two half brothers, one half sister, and a full sister.  I am my mother’s first child and my father’s fourth.  He was previously married, hence the half siblings.

3. Any pets?

Not unless you count my virtual pet fish Chaos and his sister Anarchy.  My boyfriend has a dog that I help care for, but they’re living in New Jersey.  I hope to own a cat one day though.

4. What is your ideal career and why did you choose it?

For a while now, I’ve wanted to be a psychologist.  When I was 16, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.  The psychiatrist I had seemed really cold and callous, almost as if she had no interest in what I was saying.  I remember thinking, “you’re supposed to help me, not throw pills at me.”  I ended up on an anti-anxiety/depression drug called Effexor and it made me borderline suicidal.  I stopped taking it and I’ve never looked back.  I don’t believe in prescribing medication for every psychological disorder.  I strongly believe in talk therapy and relying on social support systems.  Anywho, I hold a Bachelors degree in Psychology from Kean University.  I’m very proud of that achievement and I hope to go back for my Master’s when the time is right.  Don’t count me out; I’ll be a psychologist one day…

5. Where are you from?

This is hard to answer. I was born in New Haven, CT.  For the first few years of my life, my parents moved around alot.  We lived in Florida, then West Haven, CT then Bridgeport, CT.  We moved from Bridgeport, CT to Stratford, CT.  We left Stratford when I was eight.  We moved to Hillside, NJ when my grandmother died.  My parents still live in her old home, while I live in West Haven, CT with my aunt and three cousins. Its been a wild ride…

6. What are your hobbies?

Obviously I love to write.  In addition to writing, I draw, play video games, take and edit photos, bake, and dance.  I want to learn Spanish and I would love to learn computer programming if given the chance.

7. What are your pet peeves?

I hate close talkers.  Back up and give me my space! I DESPISE LIARS and people who hurt children and animals!!!

8. What are your biggest fears?

In order…spiders, heights, losing people that I love, and ice.  Yes, ice.  I hate the winter and I am CONSTANTLY afraid of falling and cracking my head open on ice.  There are so many more…but those are the things that stick out in my mind.

9.  What is your religion?

I am such an outcast when it comes to religion.  The majority of the Black community is Christian.  I identify as agnostic.  I was formerly an atheist.  I was shunned by those around me because I chose not to believe in God.  Growing older has made me more humble and I had to realize that I don’t know everything there is to know.  I could be wrong about the existence of God and I’m leaving my heart open to the possibility of finding Him.

10.  What was the darkest time in your life?

I’d have to say the past two and a half years have been brutal.  About 2 years ago, I lost one of my best friends.  I cried for two days straight and I literally ran out of tears.  My boyfriend lost his mother slightly before my friend died.  It was hard to watch him struggle with that.  This past year, I almost lost my mom due to a blood clot in her leg.  It was scary.  I started spiraling out of control; drinking more and spending money I didn’t have.  I’m just now clawing my way out of debt.

11.  What’s your favorite color?

Red.  So sensual. So passionate. So nasty. Lol.

12.  If you could change one thing about your life, what would you change?

I would have watched my diet and never developed diabetes.  Sometimes type 2 isn’t preventable.  Both parents have it, but if I would have taken better care of myself, I could have prolonged the inevitable.  Now I’m a 28 year old diabetic.  My fingers go numb and tingle sometimes.  My doctor told me if I continue on like this, I might lose a limb by the age of 40.  Definitely a wake up call.

13.  What is the most annoying aspect of your personality?

I am completely random.  Sometimes someone can be talking to me about a subject and I will switch the subject to something completely different.  Any random thing that just ran through my mind.  My speech can be wildly erratic because my mind is constantly changing channels.

14.  Do you want children?

I’m twenty-eight.  If I don’t have my first by thirty-two, I don’t want any.  I’m very conflicted in regards to having children.  Children are expensive to raise, but I would love to have someone to carry on my legacy after I die.  We’ll see…

15. If you could be any animal, what would you be?

A peacock.  They’re soooooo damn beautiful and unique.  Those feathers are gorgeous.  I could be wrong, but I don’t think they have any natural enemies either.  I never heard of a peacock getting eaten by another animal.

16.  What is your biggest regret as far as love?

I never told the love of my life I loved him until I was 26 years old.  I had only loved him since I was about….oh…TWELVE YEARS OLD!!! If I could turn back time, I would have told him how I felt.  I also would have had about five kids by now.  Sometimes regrets aren’t such a bad thing…lol

17.  What are your theories on sex?

I am a sexual snail.  I’ve had sex with one person in my lifetime.  I think that sex should be like a V.I.P lounge; many want access but very few get in.  Your body is a temple and everyone isn’t worthy enough to worship.

18.  What would you do if you won the lottery?

The first thing I would do is quit my jobs.  I’d tell everyone at Target to kiss my ass, I would bid everyone at H&R Block a tearful farewell.  Next, I’m going to the car dealership and picking up my Aston Martin Vanquish.  After that, I’m deactivating my cell phone and moving into my new home.  Notice I said home.  I don’t want a mansion.  Those compounds are creepy and I always think they’re haunted.  Why would two people (me and my boyfriend) need 19 bedrooms? Pointless.  I would give everyone I love some money and then disappear.  It would only be enough for them to start a business or buy a home.  Don’t quit your job because I’m not supporting you forever.

19.  Who are your favorite artists (music)?

I love Missy and that will never change.  I love Justin Timberlake, J. Cole, Snoop, Drake, Tyler, The Creator, Eminem, Kendrick Lamar, Pharrell, The Weeknd, etc.  I listen to alot R&B and jazz as well.  I love D’angelo, Outkast…the list is too damn long.

20.  What is your favorite dessert?

Cheesecake!!! I could eat cheesecake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  Death by diabetes would be worth it.

21. Thoughts on marijuana?

Legalize it. Point. Blank. Period.

22. If you could eradicate any disease, what would it be?

You would think I would choose diabetes, but I’d have to say AIDS/HIV.  Type 2 diabetes is often preventable. I did this to myself to some degree, but HIV affects so many people, often they have no choice in the matter. One of my best friends was born with HIV.  It lay dormant in his system until he was older.  I remember crying when he told me.  I think they already have a cure.  Magic Johnson has been alive forever. Money changes the game…

23.  What is one place you would like to visit outside of the U.S.?

I want to see Spain.  Spanish people are so sensual and passionate.  The men, muy caliente! Lol. The food is delicious.  I have such an interest in Spanish culture.  It is so alluring.

24.  What was your favorite class in school?

I loved both Science and English.  I have never been great in math.  I hate it and I haven’t used 90 percent of the concepts I learned in school.  I always have a calculator handy.

25. What was the best trip you’ve ever been on?

I loved Vegas and I HAVE TO go back! I’m planning on going back by the end of this year. Trust me when I say, it is as wild as advertised.

26.  If you had to describe yourself to someone who has never met you, what would you say?

I’m a crazy, down to earth type of person.  I’ll be as nice to you as you are to me.  I am a faithful believer in karma and I try to treat everyone with kindness, dignity and respect.  I believe that life should be comprised of 75 percent fun and 25 percent work.  I think you should laugh as much as you possibly can and I laugh often.  I can be your best friend or your worst enemy.  I can be cold and distant or warm and loving.  My personality tailors itself to the individual I’m dealing with.  I’m a chameleon of sorts.

27. How do you feel about gay marriage?

Love it! I’m a big supporter of the gay community.  I went to Pride in New Haven a few months ago.  It was awesome! Great performers.  I think that everyone should be able to love and marry who they want regardless of gender.

28.  If you were on your deathbed, what would be the last advice you would give your loved ones?

If it doesn’t bring you happiness, don’t do it. Don’t let unhappy people keep you from finding joy.  People will tell you you can’t, you won’t make it, you’re not good enough, you’ll never beat the odds.  Show them why they’re wrong…1329928575759