Thought of the Day: I Am Not A Victim

In college, my creative writing professor introduced me to this awesome concept called free-writing.  When one free-writes, they set a timer and they allow themselves to write whatever they think, rather it is logical or not.  This is my free-writing exercise of the day.  I am not a victim.  So often in life, I’ve acted as one.  I have allowed this world to beat me down and its time for me to pull myself up by my boot-straps and figure things out.  I’m in a relationship that I no longer feel good about, I have a job that I have hated from day one, and I have allowed my weight to get out of control.  Am I 300 lbs? No. But I would like to look better and feel better about myself.  I know that my weight plays a huge roll in why I am making the decisions I’m making.  Had I been smaller, maybe I would have had the confidence to chase better jobs and better men.  I don’t know.  But I really wanna find out.  I believe I have done myself a great disservice by allowing myself to become a victim.  I could be a lot more proactive than I am.  I mean, how am I going to find out what I’m truly capable of if I never even try? Yeah…just the ramblings of a crazy person.

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